New Blog

It's time to say goodbye to pottersalchemy. Our new blog is http://www.wheretherubbomeetstheroad.blogspot.com

Change

I'm getting excited about the next couple of months! Mainly, because we will be moving again at the end of October! We haven't found a place yet, but I'm really looking forward to being somewhere else. I want to feel safe enough to take my son on walks again. I think my having a job is going to help us out a lot. When I think about it, I have it pretty good. I only work 3 nights a week, which is really not a lot. My job has it's frustrating moments, but I really do like it. Mainly because I get some alone time in the car when I go on deliveries. It's nice to be able to listen to my music in the car, which, lately, goes back and forth between Gungor, Andrew Peterson, and my beautiful friend, Ashley Beth! I love being able to listen to Christian music, because it helps so much when I'm frustrated about parking or if I can't find my delivery. It helps me to pray more, so that I can get through those times.

Our life has changed quite a bit with me working. It's weird not being home every night to put Logan to bed and spend time with Mike, but I think it's good for us. Mike gets more time to bond with Logan without me there and I get to have a responsibility outside of the house. It seems to be working out well. I don't know. It's been a rough summer, but I am just looking forward to what God has in store for us in this new season of our life. We are not promised an easy life and it could just get harder from here. It could also get easier for awhile. Either way, God is good and He is faithful and will carry us through anything that comes. Bring it on!!

Not Worrying

We are having some financial trouble lately. The amazing thing is that I'm not really worried about it. Don't get me wrong, I am constantly looking for a job, but that is all I can do. Knowing that I am doing everything I can do makes me feel better because, then, I just have to give God control over the results of my searching. I know that God is going to provide, somehow! He is faithful and He will take care of us one way or another. So, that is my comfort everyday! God will provide! We still have to do our part, but then it's in His hands.

Lost Sheep

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away? In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish.”

Matthew 18:12-14

I’ve really been searching my heart about things lately. What parts of my heart are good and what parts are evil? When it comes to lost people, I tend to judge them by what they do. I know people who are generally good people and I know some who are not. I have more compassion on those I consider good than I do for those I don’t. It’s as if I feel that the good ones are more worthy to be saved.

However, this scripture says that it is not God’s will for anyone to perish. It should not matter to me what anyone has done or not done. God wants all of us with Him. He wants murderers with Him just as much as those who do good deeds. I have read this scripture so many times, but I still fail to look at everyone the way God does. This doesn’t mean that there shouldn’t be consequences to people’s actions, but I should be more heartbroken about the fact that they are lost than I am.

Story Time At The Library

I took Logan to story time at the library yesterday. He had a lot of fun. They read several books and sang a few songs in between. Logan only got restless towards the end and wanted to get up and walk around. I figured it was better to let him walk than try to hold him down and risk him being fussy so no one could hear. There were already other kids standing up right in front of the book, as kids often do. Logan didn't really care about the book at this point. He just wanted to walk around and explore the room and get a good look at every person in the room. He was weaving in and out of people sitting down just smiling at them.

This was the point where I expected people to get a little annoyed that he wasn't being still. I grew up in the south where you are supposed to be seated and quiet the whole time in situations like this. So, the fact that I am still living in the south made me nervous in this situation. However, no one seemed to be bothered and they all smiled back at him. I also noticed that they were all telling each other, "He's so cute!" We get that a lot when it comes to Logan. I am so glad that he was met with acceptance and not ridicule.

Reflecting on this situation has made me realize the number 1 way that Logan is like me. Logan is a people person! He thrives on being around people. When it's just him and me, he gets bored very easily. I can pull out every toy he has and we'll play for a few minutes and then he'll get fussy because he's ready to do something else. He gets so excited when he knows we're going out because he knows he's going to get to see people. There are days when I really don't want to go anywhere if I don't have to. Some days Logan handles staying at home well and some days it's obvious that he wants to leave. If we have people over, he'll refuse to take a nap because he doesn't want to miss anything. I am the same way. If I'm with a group of people, no matter how tired I am or how late it is, I don't want to leave because I don't want to miss anything.

Over the past almost two years I have had a hard time learning how to be a mom and still be the people person that I am. I went from working a job that I loved, with amazing people, to being a stay-at-home mom, which I also love. It's been amazing being at home with Logan, but it's also been one of the hardest times in my life. I feel like when I became a mom, I just forgot about a lot of other relationships and that has left me with very few friends. Even now I struggle to keep in touch with the friends I do have because. . . well, I'm not sure why. I am trying to get better.

The bright side in everything is that I can hear God more and more telling me to get out there and build relationships. He made me a people person and He knows what I need. I need to stop worrying about Logan being dragged all over the place because he clearly loves going all over the place. I need to be the one to initiate things with friends. I need to finally take the next step in joining a small group at church so that I can invest in other women that I'm supposed to be in fellowship with and they can invest in me. God, give me the strength to pursue and persevere!

Where Did The Music Go

For as long as I can remember, the one thing that gave me the most joy in life was music. I loved singing and I wanted to learn how to play so many instruments! Music was my way of escape. I would just pour myself into songs and that was my way of venting, expressing my anger, expressing my joy, and praising God. I remember when I found a song that I absolutely loved, I would stay in my room all day and listen to it on repeat. Sometimes I would have a song on repeat all night while I slept. It was comforting and I was good at it. I was pretty good at singing and I excelled at playing the clarinet.

But, now, I feel like there's just not that much music to connect with out there. I'm strictly talking about Christian music because I, in general, don't feel that connected to other music unless I know the story behind it. We only have two Christian radio stations here and they both kind of get on my nerves, one more than the other. There are some songs that I like, but it has been awhile since I have heard anyone put out a song that I love and that moves me (Andrew Peterson is the exception. Let's face it, the man can write! My friend, Ashley, is also the exception! Love you, Shlee!). Either I have lost my ability to find really good Christian music out there or there just isn't a lot.

I really miss my connection with music. I drive around listening to Harry Potter on audio book because I don't like what's on the radio (I've never really liked listening to the radio all that much, I prefer my own music) and I'm tired of the limited music that I seem to have in my collection. I like listening to audio books, but I don't sing enough and I don't think my voice is as good as it used to be because I haven't used it regularly in a long time. So, I have made the decision to finally learn how to play my hammered dulcimer and the guitar because they are my two favorite instruments. And in the meantime, could someone please introduce me to some good Christian music that I'm missing? And please don't say NEEDTOBREATHE because, I'm sorry, I hate the guys voice and the songs that I've heard I don't really like anyway!

Connection

There are certain people in your life that you have a special connection to. The kind of connection that makes it possible to just pick right up where you left off if you only see them every once in awhile. Sure, you talk about how your life's been up until this point, but then, it just goes right into everyday conversation where you are joking around and just enjoying each other. There is no awkwardness because you no longer know how to act around each other. You are still completely free to be yourself and that's okay. You don't feel like you have to put on your "company behavior". I praise the Lord that this was my experience tonight as I caught up with friends from out of town!