I took Logan to story time at the library yesterday. He had a lot of fun. They read several books and sang a few songs in between. Logan only got restless towards the end and wanted to get up and walk around. I figured it was better to let him walk than try to hold him down and risk him being fussy so no one could hear. There were already other kids standing up right in front of the book, as kids often do. Logan didn't really care about the book at this point. He just wanted to walk around and explore the room and get a good look at every person in the room. He was weaving in and out of people sitting down just smiling at them.
This was the point where I expected people to get a little annoyed that he wasn't being still. I grew up in the south where you are supposed to be seated and quiet the whole time in situations like this. So, the fact that I am still living in the south made me nervous in this situation. However, no one seemed to be bothered and they all smiled back at him. I also noticed that they were all telling each other, "He's so cute!" We get that a lot when it comes to Logan. I am so glad that he was met with acceptance and not ridicule.
Reflecting on this situation has made me realize the number 1 way that Logan is like me. Logan is a people person! He thrives on being around people. When it's just him and me, he gets bored very easily. I can pull out every toy he has and we'll play for a few minutes and then he'll get fussy because he's ready to do something else. He gets so excited when he knows we're going out because he knows he's going to get to see people. There are days when I really don't want to go anywhere if I don't have to. Some days Logan handles staying at home well and some days it's obvious that he wants to leave. If we have people over, he'll refuse to take a nap because he doesn't want to miss anything. I am the same way. If I'm with a group of people, no matter how tired I am or how late it is, I don't want to leave because I don't want to miss anything.
Over the past almost two years I have had a hard time learning how to be a mom and still be the people person that I am. I went from working a job that I loved, with amazing people, to being a stay-at-home mom, which I also love. It's been amazing being at home with Logan, but it's also been one of the hardest times in my life. I feel like when I became a mom, I just forgot about a lot of other relationships and that has left me with very few friends. Even now I struggle to keep in touch with the friends I do have because. . . well, I'm not sure why. I am trying to get better.
The bright side in everything is that I can hear God more and more telling me to get out there and build relationships. He made me a people person and He knows what I need. I need to stop worrying about Logan being dragged all over the place because he clearly loves going all over the place. I need to be the one to initiate things with friends. I need to finally take the next step in joining a small group at church so that I can invest in other women that I'm supposed to be in fellowship with and they can invest in me. God, give me the strength to pursue and persevere!
